Letter #41 – ✍️ Writing in Maui 🏝️

This week’s newsletter:

• The ultimate freedom

• Could of been my dream life

• A face full of dread

• On Day 4, I finally cracked.

Hi friends and fam, ♥️

I’ve been low key waiting for when the Kona storm peaks in Maui ⛈️🌩️ to have an excuse to stay home and write this letter.

As my head has been reciting this draft for almost two weeks now.

And finally, I’m sitting on the back patio of our Airbnb watching the wind violently, yet strangely comforting, gust through the coconut trees. 🌬️🌴 

Sipping an iced matcha latte, 🍵 munching Whole Foods cookies, and writing to you.

The ultimate freedom

For those who have known me for a while, or who came across my one month into retirement check-in YouTube video, you know Financial Freedom was never the final goal.

It’s simply a means toward the ultimate freedom I’ve been pursuing for the past decade.

The freedom of the mind. Being absolutely at ease with life.

I don’t need financial freedom to get there. But it makes the path easier.

Having full independence over how I spend my time, with little financial pressure. Those are wonderful conditions for me to practice mindfulness.

So this isn’t a financial update, but a life update. 💛

Could of been my dream life

I just came back from a 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat.

In some ways, being there feels like my dream life.

• released from all chores and responsibilities

• served wholesome, nutritious meals

• peacefully existing among considerate and kind women

• post-lunch walks in the PNW nature where a family of deer 🦌 liked to hang out (and treated me like moving grass, not even bothered when I was two feet away)

• and I thrive in noble silence 🤫 (this shouldn’t be a surprise, though one time I had a friend so skeptical that I could shut up for days that she joined me at a retreat just to see it for herself)

But you should have seen my face on the drive 🚙 to the retreat center.

A face full of dread

Underneath that dream life is a series of purges.

Doom scrolling, eyes glued to screens (in Gen Z terms, not touching grass), consuming entertainment, bed too late.

Purged!

Anxious. Worried. Resentful. Jealous. Competitive. Judgmental. Regretful. Insecure. Greedy. Restless. FOMO.

Purged. Purged. Purged.

Not being present. Not being equanimous.

PURGED!!!

Every day in the first three days, I wanted to pack up and run home, resuming my little happy life with Tyler.

On day 4, I finally cracked.

During a 2-hour sitting, one that usually breaks me, this time, bliss came. Pure lightness. Ahhh… 😌​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

My mind became quiet, concentrated, and alert enough to dwell in joyful peace.

It is always funny to me how we keep running around trying to find the essence of joy.

Traveling. Adventures. Fine food. A big house. A nice car. A designer bag. You name it.

Yet by simply sitting in silence and observing things as they are, we can touch the purest joy. 💫😌

(Similar to how I feel about investing. Some people spend endless time tweaking investments and thinking about markets at night. When sometimes the best move is simply to index fund and chill, and use that time on things that actually matter.)

Whenever at a retreat, I became a meditation hall rat 🐭

What else could I do while my phone was taken away and I was not supposed to read, write or watch anything?

So I meditated to pass the time.

There’s not a single better thing to do anyway. I came this far. I might as well give it everything I have. 😤

So I meditated over 10 hours a day. Went through a thousand mind battles. 🤺

At some sittings, waiting for the bell to ring, I seriously thought that, This must be how eternity feels like…

On day 9, I stopped wanting to go home.

When you feel this peaceful, this happy — why would you?

It wasn’t that I refused to leave. I just had no need to. I was happy with whatever came.

Even for a few days after returning home, I felt invincible, as if nothing in life could disturb my peace.

One time I was brushing my teeth and thinking about things that used to feel worrisome or dreadful.

And I felt perfectly at ease.

That surprised me. 😳

My mind was dwelling in a state of equanimity.

No cravings. No attachment. No aversion.

Just pure happiness. 🩵

On day 11, Tyler received his wife back looking well fed, well rested and glowing.

And his wife (🙋🏻‍♀️) came back with a tremendous amount of peace and confidence in the path toward a fuller life.

This was my 8th Vipassana retreat. And it did not get easier no matter how many times I’ve done it.

Even though I started counting down on day one, I will never stop going back.

A retreat is always the hardest thing I do. And the most rewarding.

Through all of it, it’s the highest form of self compassion. ♥️

OK, retreat done ✅ biggest OKR hit 🥳

Made the most of this year (of life, even). Now onto generating more peace. 😌

And I would love to invite you to give it a try 💛

To give this wonderful technique a chance to bring a deeper sense of peace and joy into your life and the lives of those around you.

It is a non sectarian technique, so whatever religion you follow, or even if you are an atheist, you are always welcome. 🤗

Because pain, suffering, anxiety and frustration are universal.

I’ve been to several retreats and centers and particularly found this course system very well organized. 💯 They also have centers all over the world.

Check out dates and locations here. (Sign up soon though. Spots fill up quickly!)

And let me know how it goes. 😉

One more update

I’ve also been crashing a weekly sitting 🤫

Since retiring, I have been putting more effort into finding ways to practice mindfulness in daily life.

So I found this weekly group sitting near home where they do sitting and walking meditation for 1.5 hours.

For the longest time, I had no idea what school or technique they practiced. 😂 I skipped the discussions and just showed up at meditation time.

And it was wonderful. ✨

Meditating in a group is always better. Everyone leans on each other's energy, and the collective calm in the room becomes stronger. 💫

Tyler came along recently and chatted with some of the yogis there and found out more about the group.

But honestly, no matter what technique they use, I will keep crashing their group sitting. 🤭

May we all find true joy and happiness, and the courage to pursue them. 🙏

Hope it's helpful for your journey to Freedom 🙏 

Love you to freedom and back, 🫰

Angie & Tyler

New-ish on Youtube 📹

In this video, I shared one financial move that covers our mortgage fully 💰and pays us when we’re traveling. ✈️

Hope you enjoy it xx

Things We are Loving Right Now ❤️‍🔥

• 🩴 Cheap water shoes: Good snorkeling spots 🤿 tend to be rocky. Last time in Hawaii I used my Teva sandals. This time I came prepared with cheap water shoes that worked great.

• 👕 Sun protection rash guard: Once I realized how much less sunscreen I needed with this, I never went back. 🌞